A conversation about vulnerability.
What does it mean to be vulnerable with ourselves and others?
“Vulnerability is the willingness to show up and share your authentic self while knowing that you have no control over the outcome of your interactions.” - Brene Brown
There’s often a great deal of fear around vulnerability, we all experience it within our lives, connections and relationships and lately I have been contemplating this topic. In my experience, when we show our deeper layers, the emotional parts of us, our traumas and the hard moments in our lives, when we share with people, especially the ones we care about, we are being fully seen. This feels scary sometimes because displaying this vulnerable side requires us to stay open. However it is through this process that we can find true, meaningful and loving connection with the possibility to build stronger foundations.
In the words of Brene Brown, (who actively researched vulnerability and shame for 12 years), “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences,"
Looking at this from the fear side, imagine staying ‘closed’ in an experience with someone, maybe a new relationship or friend, because the courage lacks to go deeper. Maybe feelings of perfectionism, worries that ‘we are not enough’ or trust issues are behind the fear. It’s possible the connection may not reach the same potential compared to if both individuals let go of the fear and embraced being fully open with each other.
Facing this raw-ness of being vulnerable takes courage. It’s no surprise we find it difficult when there’s other strong emotions we need to break through to get there, such as fear, shame, anxiety and uncertainty. BUT. In the space of being true to ourselves and being real, we can gain so much more in the process. Being vulnerable can be uncomfortable sure, but what we know is that getting out of our comfort zone leads to growth. We want to grow as humans, to be the best versions of ourselves!
Here’s some tips Brene suggests to get comfortable with vulnerability - Taken from an article I found here.
Let go of the constant worry about what other people think of you. Most people are focused on their own internal struggles, not you.
Feeling overwhelmed? Focus your attention gently on your breath and the sensations in your body for a few moments before returning your attention back to the task at hand.
Don't worry about being perfect-in fact, don't even consider it. No one is perfect, and the more you hold yourself to an impossible ideal, the more easily you will give up.
Here’s some ideas to get more vulnerable with yourself & others:
Make a practice to journal thoughts, especially when the mind is over stimulated with negative emotions. Take 5 minutes prior to be still, focus on your breath and meditate.
Next time you are going through something difficult, confide in someone. Share and have conversation about it.
There is so much grace and opportunity in sharing our V side. STAY OPEN.
Take a look at Brene Brown - Human Connection specialist - her work, her books and documentaries. They are extremely worth it. You can watch her famous 2010 Ted Talk on vulnerability here.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Jess x